Monday, August 19th, 2022
Comedy Topic News: “New COVID STRAIN Makes White People Act Like Chucky The Doll”
Segment One
With tonight’s news, our first headline story covers “CHUCKY IS IN THE COVID” quote/end quote several studies have claimed. The studies concluded by saying… “But one thing is for sure about [CHINA’S COVID PLANDEMIC, it’s still NON-CONCLUSIVE from where the virus actually originated from – “many are calling [BULLSHIT And saying ASK CHINA AGAIN]. Like a virus it truly mutates. Now a new mutated strain of Covid has now taken the world by storm! Reports have now confirmed that this new strain of the virus better known as “THE CHUCKY VIRUS OR CHUCKY’S VIRUS”
Segment Two
Even the [WHITE HOUSE along with Joe Biden excuse me President Joe Joe Biden lol]
made a statement earlier today saying, “Due to this new American Chucky Strand that’s causing countless numbers of White Americans to act like Chucky; this upcoming 2022 winter lockdown will have the potential of sending the nation into a rare national crisis that’s never been experienced in our human history. This upcoming lockdown will set people back in their formative years where they are reliving their most ass hole ways as a child, like the doll chucky in child’s play who reached its claim to fame back during the late 80s and 90s. One headline report say’s “I think China has gone NUCLEAR on the entire world and especially in the U.S. quote/end quote. The study is still ongoing, but the report mentions how China figured out a way to infuse Chucky’s T-Cells with the help of Cern which is the particle accelerator located in Switzerland. This report is still on going and is still a non-conclusive study.
Segment Three
Ever since former President Trump’s ban from Twitter, Fox News, and pretty much all major social media platforms; we decided to get his take on this current debacle because the former President simply knows how to keep our viewers interested, entertained, and inspired. Here’s what the former and soon two-term president had to say, “I guess it all makes sense especially when China owns the patents to the virus but let’s just be clear, Chucky’s soul force and/or DNA whatever this trash from [GINA] China is; is definitely in that vaccine and I feel it has already hit various states that did not vote Trump during this last rigged election! This whole crisis was ending with my massive vaccine push under operation warp speed; which was hugely successful by the way. Now with sleepy joe at the helm, this has become more like operation “AMERICAN CHUCKY.” What a total loser, its time for your nap in your basement Joe. Jill will bring your tomatoe soup soon while you watch chucky trilogies as well!
Segment Four
Another report headline states “People Been Acting Wild” [quote/end quote]. “Almost like zombies roaming around & spreading their virus.” Various eye witness reports and other studies have come in and reported vast amounts of white people are coughing and growling while rewatching Child’s Play trilogies.
Segment Five
On behalf of the network, I was able to comprise my own field study that was unbiased. As a field researcher I personally witnessed more black people being coughed on at an alarming rate. One report went at length just to describe these kinds as “Frisky White Devils with Chucky’s virus in them.” Even my other reports regarding this massive issue I mentioned “why are humans at odds with one another, why have we allowed chucky from china, the chucky china virus to control and dictate how we treat our fellow human neighbors?
Segment Six
Another report claims white people actually carried and spread the Covid. “Now that’s gotta be a joke not worth telling right? lol.” Once they stop coughing on minorities, their numbers could potentially go down. [It’s called karma bitches – one black eyewitness claimed lol]! Anyway, in just a recent BBN report it said, “this chuck virus “that white people spread through their racism is no laughing matter. The report continues on “History shows patterns of disease & viruses spreading amongst people where ever white people decided to colonize. A Harvard research panel recently concluded that white people are not spreading the virus through their racism. They may be racist but it ain’t the virus causing it the panel concluded. But as of recent, a mountain of major backlash has landed upon the campus at Harvard, Princeton, and Yale university because China not only owns these private university, but they call these three American institutions Chinese Spy Schools lol.
Segment 7
So, in conclusion, on behalf of the Bert Bridges Network, we would like to extend a bridge with all of our minority partners, viewers, and second-class citizens which also includes Hannibal Buress, Amy Schumer, and Sarah Silverman because they are all [CLONES] and I have a bone to pick with each and every one of them. But I do have to thank [Hannibal Buress] for inspiring me to create my own TV network ever since he brought down my TV dad [Bill Cosby]. Rumor has it that Bill was attempting to by CBS right before his massive scandal what a coincidence I would say. Justice has been served for all I know. But back to my reports lol. If you’ve been coughed on, growled at. Please call our hotline at 1.877. 422. [CHUCKY], email us at [bertbridges world against chucky@gmail.com] , or follow us at bert bridges world not Chucky’s on Facebook, Instagram, or twitter and share your personal story of being coughed on by CHUCKY!
Ending Segment |Final Words
That is my time with tonight’s Breaking News. Again, I’m Bert Bridges from the Bert Bridges Network. Remember “Bert is my name and building bridges is my game.” Till next time, this is Bert Bridges signing out. Have a great Night_________________.
“There you have it guys, this is the report I would give if I worked for Alex Jones, but I’m all good though because I can say what I want off my very own network. The Bert Bridges Network. You can’t be intimidated, silenced, or banned if you own your own network.”
-Bert Bridges World & Bert Bridges Network
Contact: Bertbridgesworld@gmail.com
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